


Home Team

by carolinecrane



Series: down is where we came from [7]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-15
Updated: 2010-09-15
Packaged: 2017-10-11 21:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/117207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn calls Kurt for advice.  He gets Puck instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home Team

**Author's Note:**

> Somehow Finn's POV has snuck into this thing. I don't even know. Liz, I'm sorry?

Finn learned a long time ago not to expect too much from life. He knows to most people that sounds totally depressing, like he's giving up before he even starts or something. But the thing is, if you don't expect much, you don't get disappointed, and he's pretty much full up on disappointment already.

So he goes to class and he studies hard, and he hangs out with Quinn sometimes, mostly because they're the only two left behind. But she's fun to hang out with and she knows him better than most people, and maybe they're just friends out of habit, but it's cool to know she's got his back.

He belongs to the same community theater as Mr. Schuester -- _call me Will, Finn, I'm not your teacher anymore_ \-- and he's not the best actor or even the best singer, but it's fun. Sometimes he thinks he and Quinn might even get back together, maybe stick it out this time. But mostly he just goes to class and does his work and tries not to think too hard about the future or what happens when he has to figure out what to do with his life.

He doesn't start thinking about Christmas until it's almost halfway through November, and by then he's desperate enough to admit that not only has he blown off figuring out what to do for his mom and Burt again, but he's not going to figure it out without some help. Which means calling the only person he knows who can pull out the perfect gift for pretty much anybody and make you feel like a total moron for not thinking of it yourself.

He's not sure when he started thinking of Kurt as, you know, an _actual_ brother. Maybe when they started sitting across the dining room table from each other at holidays, or when he got used to seeing Kurt's graduation picture right up on the mantel next to his. Or maybe it was when Kurt stopped making those creepy, moony faces at him and started to talk to him like he was a moron for not knowing that the Father's Day gift Burt longed for more than any other was a hip holster for his beer.

Finn has to give him credit; that gift went over _huge_. It was worth putting up with Kurt's constant reminders of how much he sucks at gift giving just to see the look of pure, childlike delight on Burt's face when he took it out of the box and tried it on. And okay, the look on his mom's face when she saw the look on Burt's face was pretty good too.

So he takes a deep breath and he dial's Kurt's number -- speed dial four, after his mom and Quinn and his voicemail -- and he braces himself for the disdain Kurt's about to make him feel even from all the way across the country.

It rings, then it rings again, and on the third ring he figures maybe Kurt's not going to answer. Right before his voicemail kicks in the line connects, and he knows the voice on the other end, but it's definitely not his brother.

"What's up, Hudson?"

"Puck? Why are you answering Kurt's phone?"

"Because I recognized your stupid fucking ringtone, and I thought I'd say hi," Puck answers.

Finn has no idea what ringtone Kurt's assigned to him. Probably something by Mellencamp or maybe Springsteen, just to remind him of the fact that Finn's probably always going to be stuck in Lima while he's off...doing whatever it is he does. With _Puck_ , of all people, and Finn really, _really_ doesn't want to know what they do when they're together.

"So what's up?" Puck's saying, and Finn can hear him moving around on the other end of the line. "You finally admit your gay love for Schue or what?"

"What?" Finn asks, regretting it the second the word comes out of his mouth, because wow, does he ever not want to know where Puck came up with that one.

"You and Schue. Dude, everybody knows you've been carrying a torch for years. Just admit it."

"Is...uh...is Kurt around?" Finn says, scrubbing a hand over his face and glancing around to make sure his mother's not lurking behind him somewhere, and yeah, he needs to get his own place in a major way.

"He's in the shower."

"So you decided to answer his phone?"

"Sure," Puck says, like it's totally normal to answer someone else's cell when they're not around. And for all Finn knows, that _is_ normal for them. They've been dating for awhile now, and it's not like Kurt ever tells him anything.

"I figured you and me, we're not exactly buds anymore or anything, but I've been banging your brother for awhile and eventually we're going to get gay married. That'll make us family, so we should probably reconnect."

"What?" Finn says again, and yeah, he knows he sounds pretty stupid at this point, but his brain stopped working right around the time the words 'banging' and 'your brother' came out of Puck's mouth.

"What, you didn't think I'd make an honest man of him? You can even be my best man if you want. I mean, Kurt would be my first choice, but he's gonna be kind of busy."

Finn takes a deep breath and squeezes his eyes shut, then he takes another look over his shoulder, just to make sure he's still alone. "Does Burt know about this?"

"I haven't asked his permission or anything, if that's what you mean. But he'll be cool with it. He totally loves me."

"Right. So...can you just tell Kurt to call me? It's about my mom and Burt's Christmas present," Finn says, desperate to hang up the phone and...call Quinn, maybe, so she can talk him down from the bizarre hallucination he seems to be having.

"What, you don't have time to shoot the shit with an old friend? What the hell are you up to, anyway?"

"A lot less than you apparently think," Finn answers, swallowing a sigh when he realizes Puck's not going to let it go that easily. "You know Schue's not gay, right?"

"Everybody's a little gay, Hudson. Think about it. Back in high school, did you ever think I'd be doing Kurt Hummel on a regular basis?"

And that's just great, because he walked in on Puck and his skank-of-the-moment enough times in high school that he's picturing it. Only instead of some girl he can clearly picture his stepbrother pressed up against whatever flat surface Puck found most convenient at the time, and he's never getting _that_ image out of his head.

"Can you please stop making me picture you having sex with my stepbrother?"

"Sure, but you're missing out. It's pretty hot."

"I think I just threw up in my mouth," Finn definitely does _not_ moan, eyes sliding closed and then snapping right open again when it turns out that just makes the porno playing in his head, like, _3D_.

"Okay, okay, don't get your panties in a twist," Puck says, and Finn can practically see his grin over the phone. "I'm just saying I think you should go for it. Nothing to lose, right?"

"I am not in love with W...Mr. Schuester."

"Right."

"So...uh...does _Kurt_ know you're planning a wedding?" Finn asks, because short of hanging up on Puck, changing the subject is his only line of defense. And as weird as it is to think of Puck marrying anybody, least of all Kurt, Finn's willing to throw him a fucking bachelor party if he just stops talking about sex and Schue.

"It hasn't come up yet," Puck answers. "But it's not like he's going to say no."

Finn's not a hundred percent clear on how long Puck and Kurt have been together. He knows it didn't start all that long before Burt went out to visit, which means it's only been a couple months. And he knows Puck, so he knows that's practically a lifetime commitment for him, but Kurt's a different story.

Under the bitchy, sarcastic exterior has always been a romantic; if watching Kurt redecorate their entire room in the style of some kind of Middle Eastern brothel hadn't taught him that, the late night Katherine Hepburn marathons on AMC would have clued him in.

Kurt doesn't come home during school breaks as much as he used to, but back when he was living in New York he'd come home for the holidays, and they mostly bonded over junk food and old black and white movies while Burt and Carole were upstairs asleep.

And maybe _that's_ when he started thinking of Kurt as an actual brother, when Kurt called dibs on the remote just because he'd lived in the house longer, like Finn didn't still live there full-time, and he made Finn sit through a bunch of soppy, romantic movies that he secretly didn't completely hate. Kurt mostly talked about the outfits the actors wore the whole time, but Finn kind of dug the stories.

He knows enough about Kurt by now to know he takes this kind of thing seriously, anyway, even if it doesn't always seem like it. And that means if Puck's just messing around because he has nothing better to do, well, Finn's probably going to have to make a trip out to L.A. to kick his ass. Family's family, after all, even if they weren't born into it.

Finn opens his mouth to say so when he hears a rustling on the other end of the line, then Puck's voice again, only it's further away, like he's holding the phone away from his mouth. "It's for you. It's Hudson, something about a Christmas present. Tell him I could use some new shocks for my bike."

There's a laugh that doesn't belong to Puck, then the muffled sound of...something, and Finn's pretty sure he's glad he can't tell what. Whatever he's definitely not hearing or picturing in any way goes on for a good minute before the rustling starts up again, and Finn forces his eyes open in time to hear Puck's voice as he hands off the phone.

"Tell your brother you don't have time for phone sex right now. I need to be at the club by nine."

"Oh my God," Kurt says, and Finn can't see him or anything, but he'd be willing to bet Kurt's blushing about as hard as Finn is right now. "Why do you hate me?"

"Babe," Puck answers, and his voice is low and kind of... _thick_ and oh, God, did they put him on fucking speaker or what? "You know I love you."

"You're lucky I love you too or I'd have killed you in your sleep by now," Kurt says.

After that it goes quiet again, and if Finn's brain hadn't fried completely when he heard Noah Puckerman say the words 'I love you' to _Kurt_ , he'd hang up the phone and head straight to Burt's liquor cabinet. Before he pulls himself together enough to go through with it a throat clears, then he hears Kurt's voice again, right up near the phone this time.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Finn says, and he's aware of the way his voice cracks, but he can't make himself care. "If it's a bad time you can just call me back."

"No, it's fine, it's just that Noah has a show tonight. They play at the same disgusting club every week, it's not like people are going to start demanding a refund on their watered-down drinks if we're ten minutes late."

The last part isn't for his benefit; Finn can tell by the way Kurt's voice raises and gets a little further away at the same time. Whatever Puck shouts back at him is muffled by the distance between him and the phone, but Finn's more than okay with that. And it just figures that foreplay for these two would consist of bitching at each other about dumb shit; really it's Finn's own fault for not figuring that out before he actually had to hear it.

He's wondering why he didn't just send Kurt an e-mail or a text message or, like, a fucking _telegram_ when Kurt starts talking again.

"If this is about Christmas you don't have to worry. I set up Amazon wish lists for Dad and Carole. They don't know about them; I put them under my e-mail address. I'll send you the links in the morning."

"Thanks," Finn says, and later on he'll actually mean it. "Listen, Kurt..."

"Yes?"

And that's the thing -- he doesn't even know what he wants to say. _Be careful_ , maybe, or _I'm happy for you_ or maybe even _you're in love with_ Puck _? Is that even possible?_ But Quinn swears they're good for each other, and Burt approves of Puck, which Finn was pretty sure was never going to happen after the first couple guys Kurt dated, so in the end he just shakes his head and tells himself it's none of his business.

"Nothing. Thanks for sending those links. And tell Puck to break a leg tonight."

"Sure," Kurt says, and if Finn tries he can picture the look on Kurt's face. It's the same one he uses when he comes home to visit and finds out Finn and Quinn are hanging out again, and Finn's pretty sure Kurt doesn't mean for it to, but it always makes Finn feel like kind of a failure. "Take care of yourself, Finn."

"Yeah, you too," Finn says, and he means it.

It's not until Finn hangs up the phone that he realizes he never once denied to Puck that _he_ might be a little bit gay.


End file.
